500 Linden st., Fort Collins, Co
The Story:
Ahhh, New Belgium. Undisputed king of Colorado microbreweries. Gold standard of hippie brewers everywhere. Local boy done good. Other positive things that make them sound super-important. Once again, Caleb was delayed by a traffic accident. My working theory, which we will explore in the next few months, is that Caleb's intention to drink and blog about it somehow makes the traffic gods angry, and so they cause accidents. If this continues, we may have to start sacrificing virgins before we head out. Of course, that would be much easier if either Caleb or myself knew any young ladies over the age of a month that were virgins.
This was my first visit to New Belgium where beer cost more than no dollars, so I wanted to see how the whole "charging for a taste" was working out for them. Apparently, quite well. The tasting room was still pretty crowded, but not panic-inducing crowded like it used to be in the old days. It's still like visiting a popular bar on a Saturday night, even at 3:30 in the afternoon, but most people are pretty laid back and friendly there, so it's not too shabby.
The beers
Cost: $1.50 for 5oz of standard flavors, $2 for 5 oz of Lips of Faith flavors
1. Fat Tire
I have a soft spot in my heart for Fat Tire because it is central to the best beer experience I ever had. I was living in Korea and dating the woman who would eventually become my wife. I'd had several experiences drinking Korean "beer" at the time and was quite disturbed by what I'd found. In fact, all Korean "beer" is actually malt liquor. Let the tragedy of that sink in for a second. Imagine a whole country that has grown up thinking Colt-45 is the pinnacle of beer achievement. So, when my lady told me she didn't really like beer and thought it tasted all the same, you can understand when I told her that it was because she hadn't ever had good beer available to her. Fast forward a couple of months. We're going to meet my father and step-mother in Fiji, and they ask me if there's anything they can bring. This was back before wanting to carry a decent amount of shampoo with you on the plane meant you hated America, so I requested a bottle of Fat Tire. They brought two. So, after drinking nothing but malt liquor for a year, I was able to sit with my lady on a beach in Fiji, watching the sun set over the breaking waves and sharing a bottle of her first real beer ever. I don't know if the Fat Tire had anything to do with it, but I proposed later that trip.
So as you can see, Fat Tire has a special place in my pantheon of beers. I have tried not to let that bias my review, but I can't guarantee that. Fat Tire is a bright and citrusy pale ale that just hits the edge of bitterness, but the finish smooths out without ever crossing the "oh, god, why" threshold. It has a slightly cheesy/citrusy aftertaste to it that I find to be quite pleasant.
Rating: 8/10
2. Blue Paddle Pilsner (4.8 ABV)
I have only gained an appreciation of pilsners in the past couple of years, and that because I was drinking Belgian pilsners in giant cans. Blue Paddle is a very good reproduction of those Belgian pilsners. It is crisp with a light bitterness and sweet underpinnings. I think it's my new go-to pilsner, even if it doesn't come in the ridiculously large can size of a European pilsner. I do hear, though, that New Belgium has put in a new canning line that can turn out the big cans.
Rating: 8/10
3.1554
Even before having the taster, I wrote in my notebook "The best tap beer ever discovered in the history of time and if you say different, I will hire a monkey to fight you." This beer is perfectly acceptable out of the bottle, but some magic happens when it comes out of a tap that turns it into ambrosia. It's got a strong coffee flavor with subtle background flavors of banana. It's a little like having beer for brunch, but not in an "I need help" sort of way, just a "I like coffee and bananas" sort of way.
Rating: 10/10
4. Belgo India Pale Ale (7% ABV)
After the ranting and raving I've done against IPAs, I'm going to intentionally order one? What am I, some sort of masochist? Actually, I've decided I should get the IPAs when I go breweries as a sort of litmus test. If it tastes like super bitter cat pee, I'm pulling out my punching snake.
The Belgo was pretty far from the worst IPA I've ever had, but it made me wish I was smarter and knew more words. I could come up with no good description for the taste of this beer. It was a little flowery on top, but had some unique flavoring combinations I couldn't put my finger on. It could have been malt, or wheat, or even unicorn farts, I really don't know. I was different and not all together unpleasant.
Rating: 7/10
Look at that beer. That's a perfect looking Heffeweizencitrusy goodness. Only that promise was unfulfilled. This was the most boring heffeweizen I've ever had. Blindfolded, I don't think I could have said what kind of beer it was. It was just a very middle of the road, standard beer flavor with none of the pizazz I expect from a heffe. I was very, very disappointed.
Rating: 3/10
6. Prickly Passion Saisson (which, as Caleb said, was given to us by some nice drunk ladies who didn't care for it)
This beer wasn't as fruity as I expected it to be. It was fairly light, but had a very sour finish, as I would expect in a saisson. Also, did I mention it was free? I only had a couple sips, but I liked those. I don't think I could drink a whole bunch of this, but a glass every once in awhile would be fine.
Rating: 7/10
As always, if you disagree with anything you've seen here, you're wrong, but you're free to express that wrongness in the comments. Also, if you like this blog, go ahead and let your friends know. Thanks.
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