Oskar Blues / Pumphouse (Jason's Double Take)

Location: 1800 Pike Rd, Unit B
Longmont, Colorado 80501

Website: www.oskarblues.com

After a slight delay, we're back with a very special double episode of J and Caleb drink beers and belittle people and things. This time, we visited Oskar Blues and, in a stroke of genius and / or acting like normal people, we (Caleb) planned ahead and wrote to the brewery, warning them of our imminent arrival and the star power that we would be bringing. Once they swallowed their awe and fear of us, they agreed to give us a special tour of the brewery. Our intrepid guide on this tour was Nate. Nate was cool. Nate loves his job and loves his brewery. He also gave us beers to take on the tour with us and gave us beers halfway through the tour. I didn't take notes or anything, but here are highlights. First, I think OB has a great attitude for a beer maker. Maybe not everyone at the brewery is as excited about their jobs as Nate is, but I'd like to believe they are. They seem to be willing to do new things and see how they work out. And they have fun doing it. It seems like it would be a great place to work for. Now, if they only needed someone to either program stuff or tell them about Asian religions, I would be in like Flynn.

Next, according to the picture above, Oskar Blues puts their beer into tanks. I think every brewer does this, but they had some shiny ass tanks. Also, OB claims to be the first US craft brewer to can. I have no way of verifying this information, so I'm just going to assume that it's true.
OB has a storage room where they keep upside down cans of beer that employees/people on tours can take for free. It looks like this:

That's Nate in the red shirt. In the gold shirt is a giant stack of beer cans. In the brown shirt is...wait...no, that's a box. Sorry. Also in the cold room is a jar of hops that smells like weed. I believe they'll be using it in a beer, but just smelling it made me forget which beer. It also made me want KFC dipped in chocolate.

Outside the canning room is a sign that shows political awareness and levity at the same time. They have fun. (Not shown: picture of Big Brother telling workers that time off for missing limbs will cut into vacation time [because that sign didn't exist]).
Finally, we got to see the canning line, which wasn't running at the time, but was certainly made at Ikea and, therefore, assembled with an allen wrench and much cursing.

That baby is capable of filling 300 cans a minute. THREE HUNDRED in a MINUTE! Can you do that? No, you cannot. Why not? Because you're not a machine. And you're not Swedish. And you have no umlauts in your name. I'm sorry I had to break it to you this way.
Aw...come on, I'm sorry baby. Come back. I got you this picture of Kevin Nealon eating a cake Ike Turner made for him:

 Look at the picture! LOOK AT THE PICTURE!!!!!
Aw...come on, I'm sorry baby. I don't mean to hurt you like that. I just love you so much. I can change, baby. I can tell you about

The Beers:

Cost: $9 for seven 4 oz. samplers. If you sweet talk them, and show a little leg, they might give you 8.

1. Mama's Little Yella Pils (5.3% ABV)

This one was a little stronger than your average pilsner. It's still mostly light, but has a very strong citrus flavor. It's a little more malty than I would expect in this style and borders on peppery in the after taste. I could see drinking this from the can while sitting in a kiddie pool in the back yard at 1:30 on a Thursday afternoon.

Rating: 7/10

2. Dale's Pale Ale (6.5% ABV)

Now, I like rhyming names as much as the next guy, but I can't judge beers on the name alone. If I could, I would make a ton of money in marketing. Also, I would have no soul. The DPA is the flagship beer of OB. It's really got the character of their beer down. That character is hoppy. They love their hops at Oskar Blues. If you're a total hop head, I think you would love this place. Me, I'm not so sold on the Dale's. I think the hops and bitterness really outweigh the malt flavor of this one.

Rating: 4/10

3. G'Kight Imperial Red (8.7% ABV)

This is a tribute beer to one Gordon Knight. He's apparently the beer mentor of Dale, owner of Oskar Blues, and was a huge name in home brewing in Colorado. Sadly, he perished in a plane crash. So, as tribute, Dale made this beer. I don't know what kind of beers Mr. Knight liked, but I hope he would like this one. I didn't, but I really hope he would. This was a very aggressive and very hoppy red. I often look for more malty reds, but this was like a very strong pale ale. I didn't care for it.

Rating: 1/10

4. Dry Hopped Deviant Dale's IPA (Don't remember the ABV. It was a lot)

This one started out bitter, and then grew to be more bitter. That growth was pretty slow, though, and gave me time to get used to it. I still thought it was overly bitter, but it did have good potential. I could see where IPA drinkers would like this. If you like bitter, hoppy beer, this one's for you. It's not for me.

Rating: 6/10

5. Gubna IPA

This one has a very full mouth feel for an IPA. I've grown used to these brews hitting the high notes with the hops and then coating the back of my tongue with bitterness, but this one filled out with the maltiness well, too. I think it makes an attempt at balance, but at a whopping 100 IBUs, it's going to take a lot to get there, and I don't think this one quite accomplished it.

Rating: 3/10

6. Old Chubb Scotch Ale (8% ABV)

Old Chubb is the second scotch ale that I've ever had, so I don't know how well it represents the style and I can't judge it on that. I just have to go for straight taste. And the thing is, I loves me some Old Chubb. It's malty, bright and simply dreamy. If you drink it as your first beer, it can be pretty boozey, but it's got some great smoky depth and coppery overtones. I will judge all scotch ales with this as the bench mark.

Rating: 9/10

7. TenFidy Imperial Stout (10.5% ABV)

This was a heavy, very hoppy stout. Yes, you see the theme. Oskar Blues makes hoppy beers. Congratulations. Now can I carry on? Thank you. Under the hops here were notes of coffee, toffee and a little licorice. It didn't have any bitterness, which I would have expected. It was somewhat smooth, but didn't have the stout heaviness.

Rating: 7/10

8. Vanilla Oak Aged Old Chubb

This is what they had in a firkin when we were there. It was a very small batch beer that was on a limited run. That means you should cry now because you won't be tasting this. I saw the brew master who made this pouring himself one and I mouthed to him, "This is really good!" And he mouthed back, "I made this!" And then we high-fived. It was a very touching moment that I will think about on my death bed.
This one took all the best parts of beer and rootbeer and put them together in one glass. It was smooth and complex with strong vanilla flavor, but not sweet. I wish I could buy this in giant cans all the time.

Rating: 10/10

But wait, there's more!

Pumphouse

Location: 540 Main Street  Longmont, CO 80501
Website: www.pumphousebrewery.com

I'm just going to show you this picture here:

If you like malt soaked in sweaty socks, you'll love the Pumphouse. On the other hand, if you're in Longmont, you like beer, and you're sane, you should go to Lefthand or Oskar Blues. You'll be much better off.